


Things Fall Apart

by Gallifrey101



Series: Between the Lines [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Timestamp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallifrey101/pseuds/Gallifrey101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorothy and Charlie discuss what their relationship means to each other and if they can repair the damage they've inflicted upon each other. </p>
<p>A Timestamp for Between the Lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Fall Apart

**(17:30) williamshatnerinmypants says:** Look, Charlie, I’m sorry you’re upset, but she’s your girlfriend. She has a right to know about what goes on in your life.

**(17:31) whovian4liiiife says:** MAYBE SHE DOES AND MAYBE SHE DOESN’T, BUT THAT’S MY DECISION TO MAKE - NOT FUCKING YOURS!

**(17:32) whovian4liiiife says:** And she’s not my girlfriend anymore, thanks.

**(17:33) williamshatnerinmypants says:** Wait, what!? She said she was going to talk to you!

**(17:34) whovian4liiiife says:** She did. We talked. I left.

**(17:34) williamshatnerinmypants says:** What!? You love her!

**(17:36) whovian4liiiife says:** IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE, OKAY, DEAN!?

 

(*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*)

 

Charlie sat on the bleachers by the football field, the drawstrings of her purple hoodie pulled tight as crisp, winter air blew stray strands of red hair into her flushed cheeks. She clutched at the phone she was holding by her bent knees, her knuckles turning white as she fought the urge to glance at the screen. She shook her head, letting her eyes fall shut. She already knew what it would say. 

_No new messages._

“Babe, it’s like negative six degrees out here and you’re wearing a crappy sweater,” said a familiar voice from beside her. 

Charlie tore her hood back, her green eyes widening as they landed on the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen. She swallowed, her hand tightening on the loose, fleece material. “It’s - it’s a hoodie,” she stammered out. 

Dorothy’s lips quirked at the corners, bluish gray eyes flooding with warmth. “Is there a difference?”

“It’s - it’s got a hood. And stringy things,” she replied numbly, flicking the drawstrings now hanging loosely by her neck. 

Dorothy’s smile widened, her thin lips stretching and wobbling, until she brought a hand up to her mouth, trying to hide her grin behind her palm. Charlie couldn’t help mirroring her expression, her eyes losing some of the dullness they’d adorned for the past few days. 

Dorothy stifled a giggle, moving the hand in front of her mouth to run through her neatly kept hair. She shook her head, eyes darting down to stare at the grass before meeting Charlie’s once again. “Jeez, Lena, I’ve missed you.”

Charlie’s breath hitched, her smile slipping. She looked down at her knocked-knees, letting her nervous feet tap out soft patterns into the bleachers as hope swelled in her chest. She tried to shove it down, squash it, fill her mind with thoughts of the disappointment that was sure to come, but Dorothy’s use of the nickname kept the warmth spreading throughout her body. 

“You, uh . . . you wanna sit?”

Dorothy’s eyes widened, seemingly shocked at the offer, but she nodded before clambering onto the bleachers and plopping down beside the redhead. Charlie scratched at her wrist, sneaking a glance at Dorothy from the corner of her eye. Their eyes met and Charlie swallowed, her heart quickening in her chest as she searched her mind for something, _anything_ to say.

Dorothy spoke before she could, her voice a melodramatic whisper. “What happened to us?”

Charlie snorted, her breath getting caught in her throat as laughter tried to escape her lips. Dorothy grinned, giggling into her hand. “Did you really just say that?” Charlie asked, eyes incredulous. “You do know we're not in a soap opera, right?”

“I know, but I couldn't resist,” Dorothy laughed, leaning into her side. Charlie let out a soft hum, melting into the touch. “We got into a fight and now we're sitting in crappy weather while our hair is blowing dramatically in the wind.”

“So you decided to say the cheesiest line ever created?” 

She let out another giggle, burying her face into her shoulder. “I have way more up my sleeve, Bradbury, just you wait.”

She laughed, gently dropping her head down to rest on top of hers. Charlie squeezed her eyes shut, savouring the moment. God, she missed this. It had only been a few days, but she missed this familiarity so much, she ached. She missed the warmth in her chest that Dorothy’s company always brought, the carefree laughs they exchanged, the way their bodies curled up into each other while Dorothy’s hands rubbed her sides with tender brushes of her palms. 

Their only company was blissful silence, the sounds of branches rustling and deep breathing creating an intimacy Charlie realized she’d never be able to fully describe. 

Dorothy’s sudden whisper met her ears, voice painfully sincere. “You know I care about you a lot, right?”

She swallowed. “Dory . . . ” she breathed and regretted it the second the nickname left her lips. 

Their nicknames were stupid. They didn’t call each other anything too sweet or sappy, only because Charlie was afraid a, “darling,” or, “sweetheart” would slip out when they had brief talks in the hallways at school. Dorothy mockingly called Charlie, “Lena,” because after realizing how much Charlie hated her full name, she’d been hellbent on making her fall in love with it for some sentimental reason Charlie still didn’t quite get. Dorothy got labelled, “Dory,” for a far more stupider and drunken reason.

One night, when her aunt decided to take a weekend vacation to get away from the, “stress of raising a teenager,” she’d invited Dorothy over and snuck a bottle out of the liquor cabinet. They’d grabbed the closest movie they could find, with the intent of ignoring it completely so they could spend their time kissing and giggling while the TV blared in the background. Unfortunately, they’d put in _Finding Nemo_ and got too invested in the story to do anything but cuddle.

Halfway through the movie, however, with their vision swimming and breath reeking of vodka, Dorothy’s hand had slowly started creeping up her thigh. Charlie had giggled and leaned into the touch, tilting her head to the side when Dorothy started pressing her lips to her shoulder. She’d trailed wet kisses from her shoulder to her jaw, before dragging her lips all the way up her cheek. Her breath had puffed hot against her ear and with a voice so sultry and seductive, it would surely put all porn stars to shame, she’d whispered, “Have you seen my son?”

Then she’d promptly fallen off the couch and laughed until Dory came back on screen and she was once again enthralled with the story.

Charlie held back a sigh, her fingers curling into the fabric of her leggings. It seemed wrong to use a nickname in one of the worst times of her life, especially one that had spawned in one of the best. 

“Look, Charlie, I, uh . . . ” she trailed off, sighing heavily as her eyes darted down to stare at her scuffed boots. She rubbed her arm, white teeth digging harshly into her lower lip. She slowly looked up until her sad eyes met Charlie’s flustered gaze. “Lena, I’m so sorry.”

And out of all the things Charlie had expected her to say, it certainly hadn’t been that. She immediately withdrew herself from Dorothy’s side, eyebrows furrowed. “ _You’re_ sorry? For what?”

“For being such an ass these past few days,” she said sincerely. “I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at you. I don’t make your decisions for you - especially about something so personal. I shouldn’t try to determine when you come out or force you to do something you’re so uncomfortable with. It’s not fair to you. And I don’t know why I didn’t understand that. I’m so sorry, Charlie.”

Charlie blinked, expression blank and empty. Her hands instinctively gripped the cold metal of the bleachers beneath her palms. Where the hell was this coming from? 

“You’re right,” she said slowly, “you don’t get to make my personal decisions for me.” Dorothy opened her mouth, presumably to apologize again, but Charlie quickly put a finger to her lips. “But this isn’t a personal decision. This is about us. As soon as you have to start making sacrifices because of my own decision, it becomes your decision too. And you’ve been dealing with this for over five months. You shouldn’t have to apologize for telling me something is unfair when it clearly is.” She paused, sucking in a deep breath. Her fingertips dug so hard into the bleachers they stung and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to keep her tears from falling down her cheeks. “This situation is unfair to you. I’m unfair to you. Our _relationship_ is unfair to you.” 

Silence. Even the harsh wind seemed to have quieted, as if to witness the dramatic scene transpiring on the bleachers. Charlie gnawed on the inside of her cheek, trying to distract herself from the stinging in her eyes. She could do this. She could get through this without crying like a baby. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been through breakups before. She’d just never had to break it off with someone she lo -

She quickly derailed her thoughts, trying to replace them with anything but the L Word. That was somewhere she refused to go.

“So . . . you think - I mean - you want to break up?”

And Charlie couldn’t stand it. She really fucking couldn’t. Hearing the heartbreak in Dorothy’s voice made her heart shatter, jagged pieces piercing her body in pinpricks of agony. Her eyes sprang open and she whipped around to face her girlfriend, tears dribbling out her eyes as her lower lip trembled. 

The words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them, garbled and rushed and wet. “No, baby, I don’t, I really don’t, you mean so much to me, please understand that, I can’t, I can’t tell you how much, it’s just, it’s not fair, I’m so bad at this, Dorothy, I don’t know how to be in a relationship, you’re the only girl I’ve ever really cared about and I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t, _I can’t_ \- ” she broke off into a strangled sob, slapping a hand over her mouth and determinedly shaking her head. She had to stop crying, Jesus Christ, what was _wrong_ with her?

“Shh, Lena, it’s okay,” she breathed quickly, scooting over and gathering the redhead in her arms. Charlie couldn’t help melting into her, wrapping her arms around her middle and burying her face into the crook of her neck, into the place she always fit so perfectly. Dorothy reached up to stroke her hair, hands soothing away the ache of her mistakes. “Please don’t cry, Charlie, you didn’t do anything wrong. We’re both pretty new at this, but we’re learning together, okay?”

“But I keep fucking up, I keep hiding it and I don’t want to, I just - ”

“I know, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry. Lena, if I’d known about what was going on with your aunt I would have never been so - ”

“Wait, what?” Charlie asked, pulling herself out of Dorothy’s embrace and sniffling. She wiped the back of her hand across her nose, mind reeling. No. There was no way she knew. She’d always avoided talking about home as much as possible and hadn’t dared to even _mention_ her parents. There was no way she knew about what her aunt would do to her if she found out. She didn’t tell her. She’d been careful, she’d been _so_ careful - 

“I talked to Dean,” Dorothy whispered, her eyes softening and a new expression flashing across her face. Charlie recognized it immediately and she felt her whole being curl up on itself. _Pity._ “He told me about your parents and - ”

“What!?” she exclaimed, clambering up from the bleachers to glare at her. Oh God, no, _please_ , no. 

“I talked to Dean,” she repeated, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Lena, why didn’t you tell me?”

“What the fuck were you talking to Dean for!?” she practically screamed, biting her lower lip to keep it from trembling. 

“He texted me from your phone,” she explained softly. “Don’t be upset, Lena, he just wanted to help.”

“Give me your phone,” she demanded, voice icy as she extended her hand. 

“What?”

“Your phone,” she said. “I want to see what you and Dean were talking about. I checked for messages from you earlier and there was nothing there, so he deleted them from _my_ phone. Let me see yours.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she quickly dug her hand into her pocket and pulled out her iPhone. Charlie snatched it from her hand, quickly going into her Messages and pulling up her name. She found the beginning of the conversation and quickly scanned over it, fingers sliding up the screen every few seconds to reveal more of what they’d been discussing behind her back. Her hands clenched. They’d been gossiping, talking about her poor pathetic life, how Dorothy should forgive her since she didn’t have it that good at home, Dean using her flaws to create unneeded sympathy, peeling away her walls and leaving her bare and - 

“WHAT THE FUCK, DOROTHY!?” she screamed before she could help it, slamming the phone onto the bleachers in anger. She was almost disappointed when it didn’t crack.

Dorothy’s eyes widened in surprise. “Charlie, what - ”

“How could - why would you do this to me!?” she spluttered out, tangling her fingers into her hair. 

“Do what!?” she exclaimed, irritation seeping into her voice.

“Talk about my tragic little life behind my back like I’m some goddamned special on TLC!”

“Well, how else was I supposed to know about your aunt _or_ your parents!?” she demanded, pushing herself up from the bleachers to become eye-level with her girlfriend. “You never told me! You never tell me anything, Charlie! I open up to you all the time! I know you don’t like talking about feelings and I try to give you space, but there’s a difference between keeping a few things to yourself and shutting me out completely!”

“I _know_ there is!” Charlie screamed, the tears falling yet again. She angrily wiped at her eyes with hands clenched into fists. “But I couldn’t just - I didn’t want - ”

“Charlie, _for once,_ just _tell_ me!”

“My parents died because of me, okay!?” she exclaimed finally, her eyes becoming so wet with tears Dorothy became a blur. “It was my fucking fault! I was always paranoid as a kid and a loser and a dweeb and the only friend I had was Dean. Everyone hated me! So when the popular girls in my grade invited me to a sleepover, I freaked. I thought they were gonna figure out I liked girls or pull a prank on me or try to embarrass me in some ridiculous way like they do in the movies. I called my parents and asked them to come get me. I _begged_ them because I was so scared! So they got in their car only to be rammed by some stupid drunkard who got all three of them killed. Just like that, they were gone. _Because_ of me.”

Uncontrollable tears streamed down her cheeks as her speech became slurred and shaky. “And - and you know what happened then? All the k - kids who hated me started liking me. They s - started giving me gifts and invitations and s - speeches that made _them_ feel better. No one left me alone. No one said sorry. No one let me gr - grieve. They just fed me all this bullshit and fake promises because _they_ felt bad. They didn’t give a shit about me. They just knew that I had lost my family and wanted to feel better, because when someone experiences utter devastation, you feel guilty for ever adding to it.

“Everyone knows, Dorothy. Everyone knows what happened and they’ve never treated me the same since. They give me these fake-ass smiles and good wishes and yet, they don’t even know my fucking name. Everyone ‘likes’ me because they feel like they have to.” She paused, shoulders shaking and chest heaving. “And I couldn’t let that happen with you. You mean everything to me and I didn’t want you to become one of those people. Those people who make exceptions for me because something shitty happened to me four years ago. I didn’t want your affection because you felt bad for me. I wanted it because you couldn’t help yourself, because you fell for me, because maybe, for some dumb reason, you loved me - just for me.”

Dorothy swallowed, her own eyes swimming with unshed tears. “But, Charlie, I do.”

She shook her head violently. “I can’t do this now. I can’t think, I’m just mad and I’m upset and I don’t want pity, I’m so _fucking done_ with pity and I don’t want to talk I’m just going to yell, I need to go home, Dorothy, I’m sorry, I just - ”

Dorothy reached out with a trembling hand to stroke the side of her face. “Okay. Okay. Take deep breaths. Go talk it out with Dean. And we’ll talk about this later, okay?”

Charlie nodded quickly, her head bobbing in a sharp tilt. She quickly jumped off the bleachers and shoved her hands deep into her pockets, protecting her trembling fingers from the cold air. She walked briskly across the field, the ground squelching beneath her feet every time her sneakers sunk into the wet grass. 

_It’s over._

The thought crept into her head before she could stop it, gnawing at every corner of her mind. This was it. This is what she’d been protecting herself from for so long. The walls she’d spent _years_ building up to shield herself from anyone who would offer her fake sympathy and sad glances were gone. Tears dribbled down her cheeks and she didn’t bother wiping them away.

_He ruined it._

The next poisonous thought burrowed itself into her brain, more vicious and intrusive than the last. Before she knew it, she was sobbing, hands clenching and unclenching as her blurry eyes searched for something to hit. 

_He fucking wrecked it, you trusted him, and he_ wrecked _it._

She rounded a corner, her feet carrying her faster than she thought possible.

_You trusted him with everything,_ everything, _and now you don’t have Dorothy, you don’t have her, Charlie, she’s just like everyone else, she’s only being nice because she pities you, she pities you, she pities you, she pities you, SHE PITIES YOU, SHE PITIES YOU, SHE PITIES YOU, SHE -_

“FUCK!” Charlie screamed, breaking into a run. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest and the sound of her shoes slapping against the sidewalk echoed in her ears. 

_She knows, Charlie, and she doesn’t care about you. She cares about making it better, because most people can’t deal with the guilt of making such a pathetic and sad girl even more pitiful. She doesn’t love you, Charlie. No one loves you. The only person who you thought cared was Dean and he told her. And now things will never be the same between you and her. NEVER._

She turned onto her street, racing down the sidewalk and stopping at her front door. She dug her key out of her pocket and shoved it into the lock, turning it with a jerk of her wrist. She shoved the door open and ran upstairs as fast as her legs could carry her, opening the door to her room and throwing herself onto her bed.

_It’s over. It’s over. It’s over._

_Because of Dean._

She let out a cross between a scream and a sob, ripping her phone out of her pocket and quickly dialing Dean’s number. When the four rings passed and Dean’s charming message echoed in her ears, she let out a loud, “GOD DAMMIT!” and flung her phone across the room.

She pushed herself off the bed in sharp, jerking motions and collapsed onto the chair in front of her computer. One way or another, she was going to have a little talk with Dean. And God help her, for once, _for once,_ she would not be pitied. She would not be the sad girl. She would not be the orphan.

She would be Charlie.

And Charlie was fucking furious.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm so, so sorry it took so long for me to post! Now that the Timestamp is up, though, I'll be switching my focus to the main story. And, don't worry, the next chapter is a lot less depressing than everything that's been happening recently :)
> 
> Anyway, I know a lot of you were shocked at Charlie's reaction to Dean talking to Dorothy without her knowledge, so I really hope this piece shines some light on what her thoughts/emotions were and why she reacted the way she did. 
> 
> Thank you guys so, SO much for reading. I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment or kudos if you deem it worthy, they make me all happy and bubbly inside :3


End file.
